As the holiday season kicks in, here’s a list to make and check twice of things to keep in mind:
Give to Others
Increase the Gratitude
Plenty of Forgiveness
Clearly the family’s gatherings will not be the only ones where guests might disagree on one another’s positions on vaccines or how they can build back better. This does not mistake to make mention of the painful conflict that exist between family members during our lifetime.
Remember, throughout our life we are often forgiving and forgetting.
Many of us forgive our family for not understanding, for worrying about the wrong things instead of focusing on the right.
We forgive our siblings for not knowing your beliefs and doing it the wrong way, for being smarter or more athletic, positive in their lives. Possibly making better choices in life and being happier.
We forgive our spouses for losing track of time or their phones and for coming home from work later than expected. As an executive chef's wife this rings true on so many occasions even throughout the holidays. Forgiveness when they arrive late, and the celebration has begun. For being better than we are at cooking, and for even being what we need in this world.
We forgive our children for not responding to our texts right away. For calling only when life is not going as planned or when in college for needing money. Then for growing up so fast.
We forgive ourselves for being our biggest critics, tired and when we are not our best.
We forgive those that trespass against us. Everyone relies on forgiveness at one time or another in their lives. There is no such thing as perfect in this life. If you are striving for that you will be disappointed in the outcome.
Through the pandemic many loved ones have been lost. Many lost without the ability to say goodbye. Many with unresolved conflicts, with regret and shame. When pain and anger embed in our souls and is left unprocessed, unreleased, this hurt can metastasize, from feeling alive grounded in our zone. Studies show that it can lead to emotional pain of anger, hate, and resentment, that can later develop into health issues, affect our relationships, and stop us from the freedom experienced when we forgive. Living the life we envision.
When we let this take control of us and not forgive often experiencing sadness, depression or anxiety our stress such as cortisol levels can go through the roof (not like Santa)
The why to forgiveness is more obvious than the how. It not always easy but when you forgive its proven to produce positive changes that occur in the brain associated with emotional, physical and spiritual health. We all need love and connection and are lovable in this journey. It takes a lot to break through the wall of emotions (anger and hurt) that blocks us from forgiving, especially when the offense is upsetting. You may ask yourself .. Where do I begin?
Your heart is the equivalent of your mind. Its vibration allows for witnessing all that is bountiful and beautiful within you and surrounding you.
When you hold the intention of forgiveness. An urgency of release what one has suffered. Release of suffering from a time.
Forgiveness cannot happen when you do not let go to what you have been holding on to.
For a situation you have been angered or to give the other the suffering you have sustained.
What do we do with the feelings that overwhelm us of the other person that has caused us suffering when we believe was done with inappropriate intention?
You need to release the intention in your heart and any need to harbor this ill will.
You can still let yourself know the person has wronged you and release to give away what the suffering has caused you.
Anyone that has suffered physical suffering on the hands of another has experienced sorrow of another.
We experience the act once but re-experience its thoughts of times in our mind and heart as we hold the vengeance within ourselves. Not to hold the anger and pain but by releasing it. The intentional act of forgiveness will require your heart to open, to feel a letting go of what you have held and harbored for so long within you. Willing to let go of all that has caused the pain that you suffered, you begin the important healing of your body, your mind, your soul and you realign with your highest self- the perfection of what you are as energy.
Subconsciously or cautionary. The ability to feel happiness, peace and safety.
Who do you need to release the suffering within you and forgive?
The words we choose are important and allow others to connect with you authentically, understanding where we are at and focusing them to move forward. Choose words that make you feel peace, calm and serenity releasing the tension. I have chosen Peace be with you. Wishing you the happiest of holidays.
I find it helps to invoke memories of my own wrongs. Knowing I have not been perfect in this life. I have been late, unduly lucky. I have drunk too much drink during the holiday party, spoken too sharply to those I cared too much for, been too harsh in my evaluations judging others at times. I have often let other mistakes and decision in life define them. I was not a part of the decision and had no control. I can take control and be a part of the solution.
The International Forgiveness Institute defines forgiveness as simply “choosing to be good to those who are not good to us.” Co-Founder Robert Enright does not recommend adjudicating the hurt. As it is better to skip the case-making, the blaming or nit picking, the enumerating. Instead to direct your energy to this transformative move the solution: recognizing the inherent worth in the other.
If you’re looking for a 2021 holiday miracle, here’s a big one: If you are here, you should be eternally grateful. At your celebration this holiday, appreciate those that
are in your life today, they are here, forgive those that have trespass against us and let there be peace on earth, raise a glass, forgive and let go. Life is too short.
May peace surround you. Wishing you the happiest of holidays. Enjoy the holiday being the best version of you!